Breathe

One breath shot through my heart
Tearing it to shreds and making me fall
Skinned my knees and broke my wrists
Got a scar on my leg that shines white
My hands shake when I think about it now
And even the smoke doesn’t do what it used to

Two breaths and the healing began
With blood stained thread that pierced my heart
Painfully putting the pieces back together
Band-Aids on my knees and my wrists were set
I learned how to still the shakes with words
And the scar is still there, but faded a bit

Three breaths made me remember it all
I looked back and saw the mistakes
Told my story to help with understanding
Wrote it all down and read it twice
Heard my words thrown back at me
And tried hard not to cry when I see white on black

Four breaths and I am afraid
Where will I go when this is over
I turn the sand over and peer at what’s underneath
Only to find the past, battered and broken
Scars that come to after a shower
And I don’t know if I will ever get clean