Haunting Run

Five-hundred miles means nothing
When the sky looks like this
Blood soaked horizons
And frozen land
I ran so fast from what I thought was evil
Only to come to see
The image of darkness
And foul smell I fled
Would forever be at my heels
Haunting with it’s undertone of screams
Because five-hundred miles
Doesn’t mean a damn thing
When what you’re running from
Is the shadow at your back

What Used To Be

This is the song I sang for you when all others lost their voice
This is the letter I wrote for you when we were apart all those months
This is the look on your face when you look upon innocence
This is the way it went when it went away
And here is the place we met over shattered dreams of coffee shops
Right next to the place I fell before you caught me so I wouldn’t shatter again
Those are the memories we never got a chance to create
Those are the words that got lost on my tongue before I got a chance to spit
Those are the things you meant to say right after it happened
Those are the times I meant to say it right before I wasn’t sure
And there is the blanket of stars we never laid under
Right above the crisp cool grass still awaiting our bodies
There goes the promise of more chances
There goes the hope I held on to so dearly
There goes the countless sunrises we watched together
There goes the thought of something else
And this is me
Right next to you

Sometimes Living

This life is hard to think about
Sometimes, in-between the lines
And falling off this edge
Sometimes, in a balancing act

This life is hard to walk through
Sometimes, in a free fall
And living with this weight
Sometimes, in gray places

This life is hard to live right
Sometimes, in that space between
And pushing back at you
Sometimes, in a bind

This life is hard to move though
Sometimes, in no-man’s land
And running from this smoke
Sometimes, in that moment before I trip

Breaker

Through the shadows
And through the rain
Across the field
Full of stone and flesh
Under the burning wood
And around that forsaken place
There lies sight untold

Pains are smashed in
And hinges are shattered
Across the wood
Littered with memory and glass
Under a rotting roof
And around the gaping whole
Stands this grotesque sight

Metaphors thrown out
And prose torn to bits
Once full of meaning and heart
Pictures losing color
Under the harsh light of day
And around all the blood and needles
Wraps a black ribbon

Through the shadows
And through the rain
Across the field
Full of stone and flesh
Under burning wood
And around that forsaken place
Sits a dark figure with an axe

Run baby, run as fast as you can
Try to out run that growing shadow
It’s catching up baby, catching up
That dark abyss attached to heels
Don’t slow down baby, don’t slow down
The moment you do it will overtake you
So run baby, run as fast as you can
And when you run out of breath
It will catch you baby, catch you
That dark abyss full of things past
If you slow down baby, slow down
It will consume everything you’ve built
And it don’t matter baby, it don’t matter
How fast you move those feet
Cuz it will come baby, it will come
Just when you can’t run anymore

Foolish lover hold her tight
And she’ll never let you go
Won’t let you fall
Won’t let you close your eyes.

You cried last night as I held your face
~~~~~~~~~~and when I asked you why you shrugged
Saying you felt stuck, trapped, and hopeless
~~~~~~~~~~well I guess I'm stuck, trapped, and hopeless too

Cruel Dawn

Sacrifice you self
And let me have what’s left
Your wish is my desire
What with those eyes of liquid fire
A truth left untold
My being I shape and mold
To better fit what you want
But this is not what be aught
A star lost to the moon
I’ll be with you soon
In the light of tomorrow
Your heart I do borrow
To fend off the demons of
This bright darkness above
And my hand trembles and shakes
As I wait patiently for you to wake
In the light of the stars
You see me and love is ours
But the sun will set straight this con
In the light of this cruel dawn

Cold, But I'm Still Here

He got me to start reading these books, an epic fantasy series eleven books long. In one of the books the two main characters, who at this point are deeply in love with each other, are forced into a situation. The problem is this; the girl, a level headed rational woman, believes that the man must do something so against his beliefs, in order to save his life. This thing she believes the man must is so horrific that he actually perceives her asking as a betrayal, as her not loving him anymore.
Driving home today the leaves on the trees were gorgeous, it was sunny and relatively warm, and the sight was so true to what I love about fall. But I didn't see any of it. My vision was fogged over, the details in the leaves all blurring together, the sun like a fine mist covering everything as opposed to a sharp column. Driving home today I realized that fiction is only fiction because it hasn't happened to us. So what does it mean when fictions turns to fact?

I was lying on the bed next to you reading
~~~~~~~~~ And you said that you missed me
I'm right here is what I replied
~~~~~~~~~ No, you're in Ohio, or PA, or somewhere else

I asked you today what it was
~~~~~~~~~~I was doing, to which you replied
The same thing you did before
~~~~~~~~~~When I asked why, you simply shrugged

Dear Miranda...

"Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same
Call me your favorite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way"
-Shinedown

I wanted to ask you today if it's meant
~~~~~~~~~~to be just us, if it's better this way
Then why do I still feel alone
~~~~~~~~~~but you weren't here

This curser mocks me
Telling me all the things I wish to say
Revealing secrets I wish to keep
And in the morning it will all fade
With the coming light of dawn
No one is the wiser
So I chase the thoughts
Cling to them like my lover’s breath
But they slip away
Recoiling from my touch
To find solace in the dark
For they know the truth of things
The reality of all of this
They know the things I dare not speak
The secrets I wish to keep
And in the end no one is the wiser

I Should Have Known You

Torn to pieces
I blow away
Carried by the breeze
Chilled to the bone
Were you just scared?
Or was it just too much
For your tattered soul
I should have known
I tell myself
Should have seen it coming
Should have known

Cut to pieces
Lying bleeding and broken
And it’s all your fault
I blame you for this pain
The one I made you promise
Not to inflict
But you turned around and
You walked away
Just like I should have known
Should have known
You would

And I ask myself
Is this love I feel?
Or anger?
Do I still care for you
Or am I too broken for such feelings
Should I blame you
For falling apart like you did
Like I should have known
You would?
Or is it my fault
Did I cause the very pain
I fear above all
Because I should have known
Should have known
You wouldn’t

I found myself fighting for something
~~~~~~~~~~I am not completely trusting in to begin with.

And when I questioned it all you came up
~~~~~~~~~~with was "what else are we supposed to do?"