Steal the sunrise
And keep it in a jar
Put it on a shelf
All by its self
Gaze upon its beauty
When you need a lift
And only let it out
When you are through
With the gift

Who ever said this was going to be easy? If you find them, tell them I need a word please.

100 Times Over

I am sentimental. A sentimental fool, if you will. With the ideals of a romantic and a heart that can’t take much more abuse, most of which I bring upon myself. So what happens when I am spent? When I really can’t take any more? And all I have left is an empty husk full of regrets? I take chances to not be cold, let myself go at times to thaw out. But what about the times that I need to be cautious? What happens when I should hold myself back but for the fear of freezing I throw it all away? What happens when I look back and sigh, having nothing more to say about the past? What happens if I make him hurt me?

Breathe

One breath shot through my heart
Tearing it to shreds and making me fall
Skinned my knees and broke my wrists
Got a scar on my leg that shines white
My hands shake when I think about it now
And even the smoke doesn’t do what it used to

Two breaths and the healing began
With blood stained thread that pierced my heart
Painfully putting the pieces back together
Band-Aids on my knees and my wrists were set
I learned how to still the shakes with words
And the scar is still there, but faded a bit

Three breaths made me remember it all
I looked back and saw the mistakes
Told my story to help with understanding
Wrote it all down and read it twice
Heard my words thrown back at me
And tried hard not to cry when I see white on black

Four breaths and I am afraid
Where will I go when this is over
I turn the sand over and peer at what’s underneath
Only to find the past, battered and broken
Scars that come to after a shower
And I don’t know if I will ever get clean

Please Tell Me

Who will save us now that the fire is burning?
And where will the water come from now
that the well is dry? Who will save us
now that the storm has finally
landed? And where will we
find shelter now that the
buildings have all
burned?

Hold her life in the palm of your hand
Wish it wasn’t so delicate
Feel her heart gently beat
And wish you were not pumping it
Love her with everything you have
And never let her go
Hold her life in the palm of your hand
And wish it wasn’t so

Be her crutch when she needs to walk
Wish you were stronger
Feel her weight on your shoulders
And wish your legs wouldn’t buckle
Care for her when she needs you
And never leave her side
Be her crutch when she needs to walk
And wish she could do so on her own

Calm her when she wakes
Wish the dreams would go away
Wipe her tears from her cheek
And wish you weren’t so weak
Comfort her with softly spoken words
And never stop talking
Calm her when she wakes
And wish she could stay asleep

Where am I?

California is where my heart is
Where I go for comfort and advice
A short trip to calm my nerves
And stir up old emotions

Pennsylvania is where my soul is
Where I walk to feel not so alone
A mere hundred miles and we are together
And my hands aren’t so cold

Canada is where my mind is
Where I go to think
My words flowing freely
To an ear willing to listen

Australia is where my inner child is
Where I go to blow off steam
And have a few laughs
Mindless fun I need once in a while

Home is where my body is
Where I return to, empty and cold
Unable to feel with out my self
Which is stuck somewhere across the world

Blah Part Two

Future of clouds
I don’t know I want
But I sprint on wards
To school beyond
And away from here
To new faces
With a new name
A fresh page
And my favorite pen
I write the story
Of a little girl
Growing up with
Cuts and bruises
Just like everyone else
And as I script
Out this familiar life
I try not to fade
From life as I know it
Wipe the tears away
Thank you for
Putting them there
And hope for
Another day, another rain
And another chance
To write this all down

Past of shadow
I fear so much
And I run away
Instead of facing
Another day here
Wish it wasn’t this way
But I am much
Too tired to push
Any harder, to want
Any more. And when
The storm comes
I welcome it
Dancing in the rain
Imagining you in my hand
With a smile on your face
And words we both know
Aren’t true. But we will pretend
For my sake and
Maybe even yours
To see the clouds that aren’t there
And taste the rain
That isn’t falling

Hey there Delilah
Are you listening to me
To what I have to say
I swear you haven’t
Heard it before
Not the same old speech
I rewrote it with new meaning
And I hope you understand
This time around
And take what I say
To heart. Never forget
This was all because
Of you. Never deny
I did it all for you
And what you did
For me will never
Leave my mind
Not even for a moment
Not even for another
You are forever
And always will be
My first and only
Remember that
When I am gone
To a future of clouds
I know I don’t want
And away from this
Past of shadows
I fear so much

Empty Thoughts

I think
You need to dance in the rain
Is it raining where you are?
With clouds the color of ash
And warm water that seeps
The sun not daring to peak
As you feel the mud in your toes

I think
We need to hold hands
Should I come to you?
Or would you rather leave your home
And wrap your fingers in mine
Feeling the warmth of my palm
And realizing you never really left home at all

I think
You need to laugh
At nothing in particular
Just let it out and listen
As your voice sings to the world
Joyous yet not sure why
And the notes fill your like nothing else could

I think
You need to cry hard
Curl up in a blanket
Stare out the window
And push those tears down your cheek
And when your eyes finally dry
I will be there to tell you it’s alright

I think
You need someone
To listen to you when you have nothing to say
And to dance in the rain with you
To tell you it will be okay
And to hold your hand
As tears come down your porcelain face

I think
You need something more
Than what I can give
But until then I will stay
By your side and with an open ear
Until you find what it is that’s missing
Until you figure out what it is that’s holding you back