once again lost for a title...

I’d tell you my plan
But I’m too afraid you’d find some way to foil it
With a broken heart
And a will that’s long gone
I’m confident of your ability
To step aside
When danger comes rushing in
So I’m gonna keep quiet
Mind my own
And keep you in the corner of my eye
Peripheral vision keeping tabs
Of you and your every move
And while I may lose track every once in a while
I am sill always here
Watching
Waiting
And soon you’ll see my plan
Unfold like a burning piece of paper
And it will all be so clear to you
So you will ask yourself
How could I have missed it?
And there is only one answer
The answer I just so happen to be hoping for;
Love blinds us

I can't do this. I can't sit here and get called selfish and self centered and unkind and a bitch by my own mother while he is on the other side of the world. I can't love someone who I can't touch, who I can't hold. I can't do this. I can't have him as my only source of strength, sitting there thinking to myself I'll talk to him soon and everything will okay again. I can't put everything I have on him, give everything I am to him. I can't wait for him only to have him leave again. I can't wait for over a year for my life to start. I can't do this. So how the hell am I? Tell me how I sat there literally biting my tongue, the inside of my cheek all torn up now, when she talked? How did I not scream at the top of my lungs? How am I doing this? And how do I make it easier?

I think we live our lives in other people's hearts and minds. Alone by ourselves we're not very much good at all. But when we let someone else in with their stories and all their sights and sounds and songs and smells and sensations, we suddenly start filling our shelves and boxes with books and books of them and building up our libraries.

Some of these books are pretty thin reading with faded ink and hardly any pictures and dull stories. And then others are nice, heavy little volumes filled with stories of our pasts and our futures and everything we know and everything we don't, printed and bound, fresh and new and clean.

It's nice when one of these books falls into your hands. It's nice when you read through the first few pages and know it's going to be a good one, and you settle down and know you've got pages and pages to go.

No idea what to title it....

Poor boy take a deep breath now
It’s a long way down for you to fall
And you already took the jump
Like a man with nothing to lose
Stepped over the edge and hoped for the worse
And it’s all coming clear to you now
That you were just a young boy
With a foolish man’s heart
So take a deep breath now
Because it’s far too late to turn back
You will see the faces
Of those who turned against you
And the faces of those you never knew
It’s a long way down to fall
And you’re not the first to travel
With the thought that this is the easy way
Path of least resistance
And for a man with nothing to lose
You’d have been right in your thinking
But it’s far too late to turn around
And it’s all out on the line now
Poor boy take a deep breath now
And hold on tight to the things you cling to
Because it’s a long way down to fall
And you’re only just beginning

Silly man close your eyes now
There’s nothing left for you to see
You’ve done it all, or so you say
So why are you still standing?
With a heart so heavy it’s in your toes
And a mind you worn out long ago
You thought you were done with this thing called life
Thought there was nothing left to do but fall
No effort left to exert
Nothing left to do but sigh
So silly man close your eyes now
Because as far as I’m concerned
It’s all over for you
You gave up on this thing called life
Jumped off the ride before it was over
Such a pity the fall didn’t kill you
Because now you’re broken and dying
With nothing left to do
And no one there to help you
Silly man close your eyes now
Wait for it all to end
There’s nothing left for you to see
So why are you still standing?

Foolish lover hold her tight
She’ll fall from your grasp
If you don’t hold her upright
It’s a sad world today
That this is what’s required of you
But it’s the best you both can get
When you’re that far gone
Watch her carefully
And fend off her demons
And she’ll give you something to see
She’ll slow the fall you dread so much
If only you can give her
A chance to breathe
So hold on tight to the girl
And she’ll give you what you need
But be weary of her past
A sad world it is
That this is what you get
But it’s the best you both can do
When you’re that far gone
Foolish lover hold her tight
And she’ll never let you go
Won’t let you fall
Won’t let you close your eyes.

Was it all only temporary? Does the saying 'nothing lasts forever' really have grounds?