The severity of my situation fell upon me
~~~~~~~~~~ today. And I got to thinking about all the "What ifs"

So what if something happens in the end of all this
~~~~~~~~~~ and I am left broken lying on the floor with no glue?

When did this change? When did it become more important that someone else was happy and in good health? When did I fall, and how do I get back up?

If Only

I could fly
High above this place
I could fly from here
Clip the trees and graze the water
And get away
If I had wings

I could drive
So far from this place
I could drive from here
Floor the gas and rev the engine
And get away
If I had a car

I could leave
Anywhere but this place
I could leave from here
Pack my bags and say goodbye
And get away
If I had the will

Emily: eh, I'm alright
Greg: I dont get that impression
Emily: haha, shhh you aren't supposed to see past my fake chipper-ness
Greg: whoops, my bad
Emily: nah, I'm not really upset. Or at least not really. I am just marveling at the fact that when I should be angry with someone, I instead find the behavior that should prompt said anger incredibly cute in an endearing way

It hurt worse the other day
~~~~~~~~~~ and when I told you about the hammer

You shrugged it off as the usual
~~~~~~~~~~ untill it hit you today and I said "I told you so"

I counted the days today
~~~~~~~~~~untill you could do what you say
And I told you the number
~~~~~~~~~~to which you replied "ick, that's even worse that the months"

Say things I want so badly to believe
And at times I do
They seep into my skin,
Past the walls and the protections
Crumbling my reserve like hot water over ice
But I’m not done with these precautions
They have yet to finish serving me
So what happens when they are gone,
And I’m left without their aid?
Where will you be,
When I’m in the greatest need?
I call out your name
And all I hear in response
Are the echoes of a long forgotten past
I wish so badly to remember

Intelligence vs. Wisdom

The problem of discussing "wisdom" is that everyone's had at least a few 
thoughts they consider "wise". In many cases they've gone through a lot 
of hell to acquire whatever lesson they learned, and they really don't 
want to hear that they've learned the wrong lesson from it. If you have 
the misfortune to meet an "intelligent" person who's learned the lesson 
that facility with verbal argument isn't smartness but rather "a fancier 
kind of stupid", as Spider Robinson put it, good luck ever convincing 
them that there's any kind of intelligence that actually works! They've 
given up their pride to come to that conclusion, they've been hit over 
the head by stark reality, they've gone through hell to arrive at that 
one crumb of wisdom and by damn they've earned the right to be smug 
about it. If you're foolish enough to think there's any kind of 
intelligence that really works, you must not have gone through what they 
did; you must be too proud to admit your own folly; you must not be 
wise. I don't know how to dig people out of that trap

I thought of dancing in the rain
~~~~~~~~~~today, when the sky opened up

But then I remembered you still weren't here
~~~~~~~~~~so I shut the door and turned music on